In Memory of my sweet Sarah
It’s twelve thirty on a Friday night; the two of us are lying on our bellies, squinting under the crack of Cindy’s bedroom door.
We can only see shadows of her moving—but both of us are certain buried within those movements is a ritual that will unveil Cindy’s secrets.
She was a true beauty, blonde, straight haired, cheerleader, homecoming queen type; quiet and popular, annoyed by the grade school gremlins crouched at her door. Sarah and I fantasized about what being a Barbie doll might be like because that’s exactly what Cindy was.
My best friend and I were…different. In fact, we were nothing like Cindy.
The two of us shared a unique brand of humor, loved bad horror movies, lacked any sense of rhythm, immersed ourselves in books and had imaginations so wild that breaking for lunch was difficult—even for grilled cheese sandwiches on a cold winter’s day.
We were also an odd combo and couldn’t have looked more different from each other. Sarah, a lanky blonde, had satin skin and wore her hair short. I was a brown-haired runt of a kid confusing people with my yellow-tinted skin; which could look Hispanic or Asian, depending on how many hours I spent in the sun. From the outside, we appeared worlds apart but if those exteriors were peeled, you’d find twin hearts---sisters.
The world worked to press us into its mold but when we were together, none of that mattered. We had each other and our friendship made those outside pressures an outside issue.
Sarah lived with her heart and imagined making the world a better place. Because of her, I have a gauzy understanding that the world is not an exact reflection of what we see—filters of prejudice, injustice, hatred, racism and sexism fog our view, causing division and separation.
Sarah, the embodiment of kindness, carefully considered others. Witty and smart, she focused on the best in them—and she always found something!
From the moment we met, I felt seen and important and my sweet buddy did this for anyone who crossed her path. Sarah chose kindness and tolerance, creating her ideal world wherever she went.
From Sarah, I learned:
- To live life with my heart. By focusing on the good in others, I can empower more of that magic within them and myself.
- To relax into my unique personality—We all have a special flavor and this creates colorful, textured life experiences.
- To make kindness a habit; it costs nothing to look someone in the eye and give a genuine smile. It’s not about doing, it’s about creating a gentler, more loving world by being present.
This is what Sarah did. It’s how she wanted the world to be and it’s what I’m deciding to make it everyday.
I love you, Sarah. I always have. And, I always will.
Forever your kooky twin,
Jules
