In 2011, I felt God whisper to my heart, “I want you to start a YouTube Channel.”
Like Sara in the Bible, I laughed out loud, thinking, ‘Why would me, the major introvert, do such a ridiculous thing?’
I’m a very private person. I’ve never felt comfortable with any form of social media. Something about the prying eyes of strangers peering into the minutia of my existence seemed debilitating to me. I subscribe to the notion that when a camera is turned towards you, life becomes more of a presentation than an organic experience. For my existence to be fully owned by me (and not the masses) I must keep some things for myself.
About two years ago, I attended a prophetic workshop where new prophets were paired with experienced ones. A stunning brunette approached, beaming as she curiously inquired, “Why haven’t you started your YouTube Channel yet?”
I’ve never met this woman and even if I had, I never told anyone what God whispered to my heart in 2011.
“What makes you say that?” My nose crinkled in grave disapproval.
“I saw you offering yourself to God (as a living sacrifice) and filming videos.” She beamed even prouder.
My polite smile faded into blank panic for her message was not what I wanted to hear. I was quite satisfied churring out articles and prayers from the behind the comfort and obscurity of my keyboard.
I returned home, unable to quiet the truth that I did indeed tell God I’d serve Him, asking Him to use me in a mighty way.
“Lord, wasn’t sharing my gut-wrenching story enough? I published my testimony for you!” I wailed like a toddler, wanting to believe I could take this whole YouTube idea as a suggestion; a nice ‘extra’, if I felt so inclined.
Apparently, God loved me enough not allow me to continue down the road of self-delusion. I realized He was also patient enough to allow me to marinate in the idea of hosting a channel (for a full decade!) but now it was time to walk out His dreams for my life…
Of course, I did not create this channel right away for I had plenty of ‘good things’ to do! I was working for an amazing woman’s collective and had fully embraced my responsibilities there but when Covid hit and our gatherings were cancelled, I finally had the space to begin seeking God for new direction.
“Lord, what now?”
“I already told you.”
My heart fluttered then dropped like a hovering brick in the pit of my stomach. I knew exactly what He was referring to.
I was finally feeling strong and healthy in my walk with Christ; having a YouTube channel felt like an open invitation for even more rejection and heartache. Despite all my excuses, deep down, I knew remaining hidden would stunt my growth and prevent the fullness of my destiny.
“How will you ever secure your inheritance if you continue putting yourself in a box?”
I was hungry for more. God was presenting me with the next steps but they were way outside of how I wished to operate.
It was time to surrender…again.
About a week later, I received an incredibly vivid dream. This one did not fade like most do and after three days, I felt a prompting to journal what I saw. That very night, God roused me at 3 a.m. with a calm, steady voice, explaining each symbol in the dream and what it represented. My body ached to retreat back into my cozy duvet, but the voice didn’t stop. I finally relented, getting up to scribe the full interpretation.
The next day my left eye began twitching uncontrollably. Then, a few days after that, the right side of my lip began twitching. Unable to shake the thought that this YouTube channel needed to happen, I called my mentor Lauren to ask what was happening and what I should do.
“Jules, His Spirit cannot be contained. You’ve been holding back what you should be sharing. Your lip is shaking because His spirit needs to be expressed; and your eye twitching indicates people’s spiritual vision will be activated when you share what He’s telling you to share.”
Lauren prayed I would have the boldness to do what God wanted me to do. As soon as we got off the phone, I pushed record on my phone and filmed my first YouTube upload.
I’m sharing this because I want you to understand the heart behind my YouTube channel. There is no ‘Brand’ I’m trying to promote. I am not here to entertain the masses. My channel was meant to encourage those needing to know God is real. I don’t upload content to make money; I upload what He puts on my heart and if He chooses to bless that, I’m definitely all for it. Bring on the blessings, Lord.
My YouTube channel is my gift to Abba; an expression of my deep gratitude for all He’s done for me. It’s also a vulnerable, real-life reflection of what can be done in the life of anyone who surrenders to Him.
To my wonderful subscribers–Thank you for your patience and for joining me on this journey of intimacy with Him. I’m honored to walk with you.
Hugs, jules.
Here’s my first YouTube upload:
