There are many spirits behind Narcissism:
- Witchcraft-Manipulation through mood; vulnerability of a person’s history or circumstance.
- Envy-It doesn’t matter the person’s financial or social standing. They will be envious of anything that isn’t theirs. They want it all.
- Confusion– They twist words around to create drama and cause confusion. They gaslight as natural as they breathe.
- Condemnation– They will find ways to belittle you and your life, making you feel bad about yourself and your accomplishments to make themselves feel superior.
- Control– They need to be in control of you; but they are out of control in their emotions. First, they use flattery to disarm you and then they use threats if you don’t comply to their wishes.
- Deception– They use whatever means necessary to get what they want without fear of consequences or remorse for hurting and betraying you.
- Pride-They are run by insecurity that hides behind an inflated sense of self importance. So fearful of being alone they use people as props to hold themselves up and keep their ego high.
Narcissists are drawn to people pleasers. They refuse responsibility and try to hot potato their discomfort onto you. They cannot apologize or admit any wrongdoing because in their head they’ve justified you deserve their bad treatment. You have brought this upon yourself, simply by setting up a boundary against their behavior, you have made yourself their enemy.
If they don’t get their way, they punish you and rage, cutting you off because you aren’t supplying a need of theirs. They aren’t available for you. They only want you to be fully available to them. When you first encounter them, they can love bomb you with attention, flattery and being sickly sweet. They will get you to open up about yourself and then use what you say to mirror a persona they believe will draw you further in. They will love bomb you and then turn on you to get you to earn back their favor. Goad you in a way to make you feel less than and insecure, needing them to feel important or valuable.
Defense:
- People need to earn your trust. Not everybody deserves to know details about you or to have access to you.
- Your only validation and purpose comes from God, not another person’s flattery or need for you.
- Ground yourself in Prayer and God’s Word so your personal foundation is set in Him.
- Because Narcissists are drawn to your insecurity, work on strengthening your Identity and Calling in Christ. I notice that anyone who mocks or belittles what I’m doing for God, reveals they don’t value the things of God. Their priorities are different than mine so their feedback is something that shouldn’t affect me.
- Pay far more attention to their Actions than their Words.
- If you feel confused around this person, pull away and get centered in God. God is not the author of confusion and if this a theme that continues to arise in this relationship, it’s probably not a relationship endorsed by God.
“In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.” John 1:1
