Sometimes I hesitate sharing my testimony because a lot of people get discouraged when they hear the story of How God brought my husband.
I asked the Lord about the guilt I feel for His goodness in my personal story. As I understand that when I was a stripper, not living for God, He answered the prayer I prayed since I was a child; that God would save my husband for me and at the right time we would meet.
When I was a young child, I was living for God. Even throughout the years, I always reminded God about this man and how I was saving myself for him.
Then I met a guy who was sent by the devil himself. He stole,kill and almost destroyed everything I had…my money, health and sanity. I gave my virginity to the wrong person. I knew he wasn’t for me and it never felt right but I was pressured into a decession that felt like a life sentence. When you come from religion, they tell you’re your virginity should be given to your husband and I had given it to the wrong person.
This religious guilt gave me a false obligation to stay with this man. Then when he cheated on me, I knew I was not safe with him and it was the final permission I needed to leave.
You see all those years, I lived in guilt and regret. I felt like my sin and bad choices were something I was stuck with. But, I fell down on my knees and repented to God and reminded him of that husband we had talked about all throughout my childhood, teenage and young adult years. I did not forget and neither did God. He answered that prayer while I was still a dancer in the strip club.
“Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realising that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?” Romans 2:4
I know it can be discouraging to hear that God answered the prayer of a stripper when there are plenty of good church girls praying for their husbands. I struggled with sharing because of this.
When I asked God about it, this is what He put upon my heart: “I answered your prayer because I knew it would lead you to me. People are praying for things but when they get them, it will take them away from me. Why would I answer a prayer like that?”
I think it’s important to hold our desires loosely; always remembering to honor the giver of every good thing for as much as I adore my husband, when I look at John, I see a beautiful and purpose-filled gift from my heavenly Father. Another great thing that was highlighted to me was the meaning of John’s name is: Gift from God. I give all glory to God for saving my life, for healing my mind and body and for giving me a husband that has drawn me closer to Him with every year we’ve been married.
If you’ve been waiting upon God to bring the right person into your life, this prayer is for you:
“Heavenly Father,
You are the giver of every good gift. You are worthy of my worship and my waiting! I repent for putting any blessing before you. Casting down all idols, today I crown you Lord of my life. Help me to fall deeper in love with you; so you can entrust me with the blessing. I won’t make a covenant with anyone who will draw me away from you or my higher calling. Preserve the One who is my perfect match; one I can serve and who’ll be happy to meet my needs. Whoever this person is, draw them deeper in their relationship with you, so when we meet, we’re on the same path and trajectory. Keep our eyes and hearts tethered to yours and give us the patience and endurance to hold out for your very best. In Jesus’ name, I will not settle for temporary pleasures. Help me wait upon you. Amen.”