- Unshakable character.
“Do not be deceived. Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33
“Whoever walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs 13:20
There is a saying, whoever walks with you in the present is deciding what’s going to happen in the future. You never have to worry about someone being jealous if they aren’t the jealous type. You don’t have to worry about deception if your friends are honest. So, quality control is vital.
Why would you place your life in the hands of someone who’s character is not consistent? If you’re friends with someone who has displayed bad character traits in other relationships, this is something to consider: What if that relationship ends? The character they display with others will be the template for how they will treat you.
- Unconditional love.
“A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17
Biblical love is not affection, it is action. Think about your favorite moments with a trusted friend. Is it because they gave advice, solutions or cures? A friend who silently listens to despair and confusion, provides powerful healing presence.
- Unbridled honesty.
“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Proverbs 27:6
Tell the truth. Within friendships, we should be undeniably authentic. We should be able to say this is someone who fully accepts me for me and therefore I should carefully consider their thoughts or advice.” An authentic friend would rather hurt feelings than to see a friend ruin their life. A friend may be the only person who can speak into my life truthfully because they are likely only one of a few who know what’s going on with me.
- Unmovable reliability.
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruins, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24
Something to think about: If the religious officials tempt you with silver like they did to Judas, would you remain loyal and unmovable?
- Unceasing Encouragement.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of the falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Our principals are a map, offering direction. We are the cars, moving towards our destinies. Encouragement from friends is the gas that keeps us going.
Benefits of Healthy Friendships
“As Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
Joy-This is a tangible gift that produces real life benefits. People who are lonely tend to live shorter lives. Our litmus test for good friends is: “Do they give me joy?”
Transformation does not just come from information. You can read endless books on how to be a kinder person but is in our relationships that our ability to be kind is refined. Transformation comes from exposure to the example you’re shown in a relationship. These examples inspire you to do things differently or better. There are some people we can never become until some people come into our lives.
There is a reciprocal nature to one-on-one engagement that is crucial. Reciprocity does not mean we have to give what we get reciprocity helps minimize the likelihood of exploitation in relationships. It prevents us from using people and being used (in a good way)
“Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Luke 17: 11-18
That man did not give to Jesus what Jesus gave to him. But he did give Jesus something. His thanksgiving. He made a deposit where he got a withdrawal. Often, reciprocity is appreciation, encouragement, honor, thanksgiving and prayer. Just as that person needs to give, we need to give.
Why friendships are so important
When friendships function the way God intended for them to, our friends can be substitutes for family. The goodness we receive from our friends is not necessarily a gift we deserve. Good friends are a grace gift by God, being the one who orchestrates their presence in our lives.
The people we allow to occupy space in our life, we can contribute to my experience of abundant life or they can contribute to my life being an agitating one. Connection is more than company. It enables us to produce things, productive in ways we would not be if we hadn’t come together.
Friendships say, “I know you more and I don’t love you less.” The person we call friend became the person God chooses to use to address issues in our lives that weren’t addressed before they got there. And we are okay with that. We are safe. Friendships should not be transactional but conventual. Friendships are vessels of enormous manifestations of God’s unconditional love for us.
