I want to share a profound moment that happened in my youth. When I was fifteen, I had my first modeling job. This is where I encountered my first sexual abuser. I could not tell anyone because my school was so strict, that I would be punished and kicked out if I did, so I kept my pain a secret.
During this time I was very depressed. I don’t remember how I got there or who I was with but one summer night I visited downtown Chicago, hanging out at the famous Old Time McDonalds. It was the place to hang out if you couldn’t get into the clubs.
While I was there, I met a girl named Ashley. She was beautiful with long dark hair and a sophisticated vibe to her. I couldn’t believe we were the same age because she didn’t dress, look or act like any of my peers. Awestruck by her presence, I struck up a conversation and we hung out the whole night. Her laugh and confident gait really pulled me out of my darkness.
Over our brief time together, we discovered we lived one town apart from each other. Ashley gave me her number so we could hang out again. I was ready for new friends that would bring joy. This girl was so fun and sassy, very different from the world I came from.
I felt so constricted with my restricted life of home, school, church, repeat, when she suggested I sneak out with her on her sister’s ID, (she just turned twenty-one), I was in. I had no idea this friendship would open a whole new world to me. My new friend was bold, wild and fearless and I wanted to be like her.
Over the next few months, I had fun exploring the lively Chicago nightlife with Ash and her sister. These two shared their clothes and makeup, which awakened a new confidence within. It felt good to not shrink back but play up my strengths.
One night, I was dropped off at Ashley’s. I could tell by her expression she had bad news.
“I’ve got good news and bad news. We will be able to go out tonight but only after we do this thing called Passover.” She rolled her eyes.
My ears perked up. I’ve heard about Passover in the Bible. I wondered why my friend was so hesitant about celebrating it.
Ash’s family was very poor. Her home was drafty, and the furniture was old and pieced together. But, when we sat down to celebrate the Passover, something shifted. I felt as if I was invited to the most glorious banquet. As this family began to recount what the Israelites went through, I felt my spirit become electric. I’ve always felt deeply connected to the Jewish people because of my love for Jesus and this night, deepened that love. When they pulled out a seat for Elijah, it felt as if Elijah himself entered the room. The room went from being drafty and drab to warm and alive. My heart began to beat quickly and my whole body was aware of a great shift.
“Can you feel that, Ashley?”
“Feel what? I can’t wait to get out of here and go dancing.”
“Dancing? How can we go dancing when all this is happening?”
“What? What’s happening? This is so boring. I can’t believe you actually like it. You’re so weird.”
I didn’t want to leave but I couldn’t explain why. I had no idea my friend was Jewish! This Passover awakened a desire for her to teach me all she knew for what she carried in her home is what I needed every day.
That night, while we were out clubbing, she taught me a Jewish prayer. I laugh when I think abouthow goofy that was.Eventually, Ashley and I got caught in our lies and sneaking out and both our parents forbid us continuing our friendship.
God imparted something very powerful during my time with Ashley. That sacred Passover made the Bible come alive for me. I asked Jesus into my heart when I was a child, but I did not understand Him as Messiah.
The sad thing is, Messiah has been hidden in plain sight because many of my Jewish friends are forbidden to even glance at a New Testament. How will they find Him if they are more committed to those pressuring them not to seek for God with all their heart, soul and mind?
God is to be found but only by those who are hungry to find Him. Let’s pray for the Jewish people we love to let go of whatever anyone tells them to do, Rabbi or not! God has given everyone a free-thinking brain so they can really choose God for themselves.
“Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?
For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him,
there is no beauty that we should desire him.
He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.
He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.
And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth.
Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.
Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.” Isaiah 53
“Heavenly Father,
We’re SO grateful for your Jewish people; for they brought the world your commandments of blessing and order.
You desire all men to live free and to have a choice of who to serve.
We cry mercy! Mercy over those who are shrouded in blindness because of social pressure, exclusion and rejection.
Bless them to be curious enough to prove us wrong!
For we worship the King of King and Lord of Lords, the Alpha and the Omega, The Almighty and Merciful One who desires to reconcile sinners to Himself.
We praise you for being the perfect, unblemished atonement sacrifice for our rebellion.
You say no man can come to you unless they are drawn by your Holy Spirit; Holy Spirit draw the searching, hurting, torn and confused.
For you are the comforter! They’re searching for YOU!
In Jesus’ name, we declare a revival of dead hearts and lost ways.
We declare you are the Truth to the end of our days. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
