I’ve struggled with low self-worth most of my life. The roots of rejection run deep, and this has been a generational curse in my family bloodline. Both my mother and father came from homes that did not accept, nurture, encourage or empower. As an adult, I can see by the template of their childhood, what this could produce in their hearts, minds and eventually, lives. When I was a child, I was not able to see how my parents own unhealed trauma caused a lot of wounds to get passed down to me.
It’s not wise to ignore the past because then we cannot recognize the patterns we need to break. I see myself as a generational curse breaker. For me, the curse of Rejection opened the door to the false belief that I must be approved by others to feel decent about myself. We can either seek the approval of men or the approval of God as the basis of our self-worth. We cannot seek both. God desires to be the Lord of our lives and is unwilling to share that rightful lordship with anyone else.
“It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes.” Psalm 118:9
“The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.” Proverbs 29:25
When I was deceived, I began constructing my life around a lie that I would not be accepted if I did not accommodate everyone around me. I’ve learned the only way we can overcome rejection is to value the constant approval of God over the conditional approval of people. When we become fully pleasing to God, we aren’t as devastated when others respond to us in a negative way.
Here are some Meditative Journal prompts to help you go deeper in your understanding of yourself and God:
- What do you fear most about rejection?
- Think about a recent experience you had with rejection.
- Now close your eyes and meditate on God’s love for you; what He did to have a relationship with you. Sit and bask in that love for a minute. After sitting in God’s acceptance and love, think once again about that recent experience you had with rejection. How does your heart feel now? Write that down.
- What makes it tough to step back from people’s opinions and put your confidence in God alone?
- Imagine the weight of keeping everybody happy as heavy suitcases that aren’t yours to carry. There is a river of peace in front of you. Will you let the people around you take responsibility for their own happiness? Will you place that baggage in the river for them to take up for themselves.
Let’s end with an empowering prayer for freedom from false burdens:
“Heavenly Father,
This world is filled with chaos and division. I want to see peace.
In this desire, I’ve learned to accept the false responsibly of keeping others happy just to avoid conflict.
I don’t want to lose myself, waste my life or miss my mission.
Help me to be content in the fact that I am pleasing to you, rather than pleasing the people around me.
Bless me with the wisdom and discernment to know who and how much to pour into.
Empower my Yes and empower my No.
Remove the fear of rejection so I can live in my full purpose and walk without the burdens others want to cast upon me.
Your yoke is easy and your burden is light.
This means you will never give me more than I can bear.
Show me, Lord what is mine and what is not.
In Jesus’ name, I give you all I’ve got.
Amen.”
A special thank you to Robert McGee’s book The Search for Significance for the inspiration of this article.
